Last night, I was overcome with emotion watching, of all things, the movie, Knocked Up. I know, I know, call me crazy. But toward the end, when she is giving birth and he is there beside her, and the baby is born and cries... well, I just fell apart. Jeremy had already gone to bed and I just sat there and bawled my eyes out.
I think I was releasing emotions I had not let go of for a long time. I hadn't really sat down and thought of the night she was born in a long while. Everything came bubbling to the surface when I saw that fictional baby being born. Don't ask me why, I don't know. But, even though Marissa's and my birth process was totally different, I just felt the release of emotion when the baby was born and everyone was happy and healthy. I don't know if it was the fact that I wished that was our story, or what.
My girl is going to turn four years old on Sunday. I'm not ready. I'm not ready for that day to be here. I'm not ready for her to be that old. I'm not ready to contemplate how long ago she was helpless, hurting, and fighting for her life. She has been through so much, with so much more to come. I feel like she's lived a lifetime and yet it also seems like yesterday she that was born. She has had almost every part of her body operated on or manipulated in some way, yet she is as normal as can be. She knows no different. She amazes me.
Anyway, enough of my rambling. I hadn't made a montage in a while so I thought I would get one together in honor of her upcoming birthday. The first photos are some of my favorite pictures from when she was a baby, most of which you have seen before. The rest of the pictures are ones from a year ago through the end of June, 2010. I will be sharing another montage containing pics from July, 2010 to present next weekend.
So here goes...