"Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me... Anything can happen, child. Anything can be." - Shel Silverstein

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Drowning In The "Business" Side Of This Life

There are many aspects to my life as a mommy. Like every other parent, there of course is the typical role I play as a mommy to a toddler who is literally into EVERYTHING, especially the things she is not supposed to get into. Like every other parent, Jeremy and I are her teachers. We try our best to teach her things like patience, being gentle and kind to others, and right from wrong.

As a mommy to a toddler with special needs, there are the roles of nurse, therapist, and advocate for my child.

When I became a mommy, even a special needs mommy, I was prepared for all of these roles. I embraced them. That is not to say that I do not struggle or am not challenged in these roles even on my best day. But I saw them as part of my daily life and prepared myself for them.

The one role that I never thought about, the one I never prepared myself for, is that of businesswoman. I am talking about the role I have to play when dealing with the endless, hours long phone calls to and from insurance companies, early intervention, doctor's offices, medical equipment supply companies, Medicaid, Jeremy's Employer HR department. The countless hours I spend coordinating and scheduling therapies, surgeries, order and delivery of supplies and equipment. I'm not sure why I never thought about it. Who else did I think would be taking care of these things? It kind of snuck up on me, I guess.

And the paperwork, OH the paperwork!! Medical records, bills, receipts for co-pays and scripts, plans of care and IFSPs, paperwork for upcoming appointments and procedures, insurance EOBs (there are literally close to a thousand every year!), study reports and evaluations, forms to fill out. PHEW!! I think any parent of a special needs or medically complex child can relate to what I am saying.

When we first brought Marissa home and I was smacked in the face with this role, I would let the paperwork pile up on the table. I quickly realized that I needed to get organized, so I bought a file box. This method worked very well for a while.

Then it became too full and I knew I had to go through it and get rid of a bunch of stuff. Of course this requires just a little more than your average cleaning since all of the paperwork has our personal info on it. I can't just throw it away, I have to shred it!

Over the last couple of months, this role as businesswoman has completely overwhelmed me. I allowed the paperwork to just pile up on the table and the thought of tackling this job has been more than I can wrap my head around. But, now Thanksgiving is a week away. I refuse to eat our family dinner on t.v. trays in the living room! My hand is now forced and I must face the role of businesswoman/document shredder/paperwork sorter and filer head on. This is what I am going to face on Saturday:

It may not look like much because I could not convey the depth of the pile in the picture, but it is at least 4 inches high in some places! Please pray for me and my family (our sanity especially!) this weekend as I tackle this monumental task. I will show you "after" pictures if the pile does not swallow me first!

On a completely different note, how about Awesome Hair Part II...

Note the incredibly adorable shoulder dimple!


Elizabeth said...

You poor thing, I wish I could help but I will think of you this weekend. I love her hair, is that a style for the Jeremy school of hair :-) She could poke someone’s eye out with that ;-)

Marissa said...


is this the Elizabeth that Jeremy and I know from high school, your last name was F. now R ? Or is this a different Elizabeth? If it is Elizabeth R. let me know how to get ahold of you. My e-mail is anjcortez@hotmail.com. Either way, I enjoy reading your comments! Thanks!

Jessica mommy to Alex/ RTS said...

Love the hair Marissa!
I am so glad that Adam takes care of all the insurance stuff, im feeling for you girl!

and.............I cant wait until Alex gets into everything!!!!!!

Elizabeth said...

Alicia, yep it is me. I sent you an email as well. Hope to hear back from you guys. Would love to get in touch with you and see you.

Tara said...

Oh, this Auntie LOVES the hair!! That is too wicked!

Sorry about the paperwork Bill, that sucks donkey. I'll be thinking that I'm glad I'm not you this weekend.... :p

Love ya!!

Anonymous said...

I'll be there to tame the beast upstairs while you get on the attack of another beast. Yea that table is looking sad, but hey, who has time for all of that?

You know how every year they calculate the income of a stay at home mother? They need to do one for the stay at home mother with special needs child! It's amazing how much you deal with on a daily basis. Sleep? Who has time for that????

Can't wait to see you!

Love you!
Auntie Chelle

dreambuilder87 said...

There's a couple of positive ways of looking at/or taking care of this paper situation. One is a piece of wisdom I remember giving you when you were in college and overwhelmed with assignments and tests. Keep in mind this weekend...How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. Take one small section of the paper "chaos" and control it before moving on. The other positive to this paperwork thing is you can use this experience as a positive "job" description/experience! You can get creative with your description of this "job" and it will be very handy as well as impressive on a resume! My thoughts are with you this weekend. (Clean Sweep t.v. crew...where are you when we NEED you!? LOL
P.S. Elzabeth..say "hi" to your folks for us! Glad to know you and Alicia & Jeremy can connect again!

dreambuilder87 said...

Got too caught up with your dilema! Rissa Roo could be dangerous with that long hair spike!! Man! How did you get her hair that way? Or...maybe I don't want to know...lol....she is ADORABLE as usual..but more so with her spike! Give her a hug for Nana and PaPa

Dana said...

It's a little unfair that we have this role heaped upon us. I for one don't keep up with half of the paperwork. People have no idea what we go through. I always am tryiing to remember to make that phone call, or reorder that, or send in that form. I feel the work load stress.
Good luck on your pile. Tackle it in small time frames. Work on it for 15 min. Then a break etc. Climb that mountain.:)

Anonymous said...

OK looks like everyone is giving you lots of positive thoughts and encouraging ideas...so....
I think you should ask yourself WWBD? (What Would Brian Do?) The answer...Get rip roarin' drunk and then decide the best action to take. I'm guessing you'll use the shredder a lot more than you originally thought cause theres just something fun about destroying important documents.
Lots of Love,

Hope said...

I awarded you with a blog-friendship award. If you want to accept it, it's on my blog

Anonymous said...

I sure hope you took Brians advice because well....that just seems fantabulous!!
Uncles Taters

Janice said...

And concerning that Awesome Hairdo!!!! Jeremy - stop it! You make her look like an exclamation point!

Your Mom.