"Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me... Anything can happen, child. Anything can be." - Shel Silverstein

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Bah! Humbug!

I don't really know why, but I have found myself in a rut lately. I just haven't felt like blogging, or reading other people's blogs for that matter. I know, it sucks for me to say that, but I'm just being honest. I hate it. I love all my blog friends and I truly love all your kiddos and I enjoy reading about them. But sometimes the reality and sadness of this special life overwhelms me and I just can't bring myself to read. Please be assured that it is only a temporary hiatus. I love you all too much to stay away for too long. Also, please never doubt that I pray daily for you and your kiddos. So, I will be catching up on all your blogs soon. Sorry I have stayed away so long. I know how important this support system is.

I know it is still early, but I am having a particularly hard time getting into the Christmas Spirit this year. I don't know why, but it is bad enough that I actually considered not putting up decorations or a tree this year. Don't panic, Mom, we are going to. We realize how important it is for Marissa. Something so awesome happened with Marissa and Halloween this year. She got so excited and actually understood the meaning behind a holiday for the first time. It wasn't even about the candy for her, obviously. It was the pure joy and spirit of the holiday that was so fun for her. So we can't deprive her of that same joy at Christmas.

As we speak, I am listening to Christmas music, trying to get in the spirit. Christmas is one of my favorite holidays and I love the lights, decorations, and gifts, family and friend gatherings, songs, and such. Of course, more than that, the only gift that really matters, our Savior, Jesus Christ. But I am just having a hard time this year. Maybe it is the fact that every year, it hits the stores earlier and earlier. This year, Kohl's had a big section of the store set up for Christmas in the middle of September! It was still officially Summer! Insane!

Maybe it is all the hype that surrounds Black Friday. It is disheartening to know that some people actually skipped Thanksgiving, a time they should be gathered around family and friends giving thanks for all the true blessings in their lives, to camp out in front of stores starting Wednesday last week, just so they could get good deals on stuff. Things. Trinkets. Sad.

Maybe it is this story from Black Friday. Or this one. Or maybe this one. C'mon people, really? Is it worth it? All of that crap just makes me lose my faith and hope in humanity and steals my Christmas spirit.

But I am trying to get it back. I think by putting up the tree and the decorations around the house, I will be able to see the joy in my little girl's eyes and that will bring the spirit and joy back to me.

I hate that this post has turned into a whiny, piss-n-moan post about what a bad mood I'm in lately, so I will stop all that now. In the spirit of Christmas, I decided we all should break out our special Christmas PJs and I took a few pictures of Rissa and Jeremy in in theirs:

Elmo, of course! She was so excited when she saw them. She gasped with a wide open mouth and said "WOW!!!" It was adorable!

I guess I would be remiss if I didn't update on how Marissa is doing in school. She is absolutely loving it and is doing so well fitting in with her classmates and teachers. I take her to school each day and the bus brings her home. She has already brought home several awesome art projects she completed. She just loves everything about school, and we are so happy and proud of her!


Kendra said...

Bah! Humbug! You're allowed a break! And I agree about the Black Friday sickening-ness....

I always get more in the Christmas mood when my kids get so excited about putting up the decorations. Marissa is going to love it!

Glad she's liking school so much. Fun!

Merry Christmas! ;)

Shauna Quintero said...

I felt like that last year! I couldn't wait for Christmas to be over and I felt so guilty about it. I mean I love the Christmas season and everyone's excitement and the songs and decorations. But the buying stuff has really gotten to me. So that's why Thanksgiving is my favorite now. I say turn on the Christmas music, bake something fattening, and watch something Christmassy. That ought to do the trick!

So glad Rissa is doing so well in school. She is a beautiful girl.

Gretch said...

I am having many of the same issues and trust me over the past 12.5 years of being in the world of SN parenting I have had to take many breaks from blogs and messege boards! Don't feel bad about it at all!
Regarding Christmas, I have had a hard time the last couple of years,,My conclusion is that I am SO sick of it being so commercial! It no longer is about spending time with family,,it's about material things, not celebrating Christ or the life he gave us,,families argue over when it will be held at their house and not the other side of the family,,OK so sorry to rant there but really Christmas has become a real sore spot for me!! I continue to celebrate but only because of my children,,but not overly materialistic!!

Anonymous said...

I totally hear you Alicia...I get so sick of the whole Black Friday hoop la! It's like let's just skip Thanksgiving and jump into shopping madness and rudeness...Hang in there, your holiday spirit will return.
As for living the life as a Special Needs parent that too I can understand. Tyler doesn'thave a lot of "physical" special needs but he is a constant challenge in learning disabilities and behavior issues. There are days I just want to throw in the towel and say forget it! However, on those days when he finally gets something or models a good behavior then I remember to keep pressing on! It's okay to take a breather and take a break - just remember you aren't walking the road alone. Keep strong and I am saying a prayer for you!

Lacey said...

Its so funny, I was just thinking the same thing. I usually have my Christmas stuff up the weekend after Thanksgiving. Of course this year we were out of town, but I just don't feel like pulling it out. I too love the holidays. I love driving around looking at lights. We won't have Christmas lights outside this year, because we came home to two feet of snow. No way their getting up now!

The VW's said...

I have missed you in blogworld, but I totally understand where you are coming from! Sometimes it feels like such a chore to read and comment on other's blogs, and to write one as well! I have considered stopping many times, but then I remember that it has helped me in so many ways and I feel it is a way for me to give to others, by commenting, praying and helping them through trials. But, it is an emotional rollercoaster and sometimes I just don't feel like it!

As for Christmas....I feel it is way too shopping oriented and the true reason for the holiday season gets lost in all the craziness! It's sad! I contemplated not putting up a tree this year, because I've been a little Bah Humbug myself, but I choose to put up a smaller one and it has helped me to get into the spirit a little bit more.

I think that life, in general, is way different than it used to be and that with all the consumerism and high tec ways of the world, life just isn't as "magical" as it used to seem. I was just talking to my husband about this lastnight. Now, I'm beginning to understand why our grandparents talk about the "good ole days" so much! Those times probably were a lot more refreshing than today's world.

But.....I'm going to try to persevere and make all this craziness fun and worthwhile anyway!

Those PJ's a great way to get your family started! Especially the "Christmas Story" ones....Love them!

Merry Christmas! :)

Colleen said...

I'll admit, all of this snow got me into a strange festive mood this year. Maybe I can send some your way!=) I agree that Christmas has gone too far. It's so sad that we can't just take a minute to give thanks or not think about ourselves for once. Seriously is it that important to have stuff? Marissa looks so cute in her new PJ's!!

lortsa said...

Alicia, Your honesty about the way you are feeling right now says a lot about you. Expressing yourself to those who will listen is good when you have listeners who truly care. As for Christmas, I don't know about you but it seems to pop up rather quickly these days. Everything seems to go faster for those of us who are getting older. Thinking of you and your fine family. I am a retired teacher and can see how Marissa could be a "joy" in the classroom. Her smile is a winner!

Nana and PaPa said...

What I'm about to say is definately no excuxe...but a lot of the "early" Black Friday specials I think..are attempts by the retailers to stimulate their marketing profits in an economic disaster. They know people don't have a lot to spend at Christmas..on the average, so IF they can entice you to buy early with "SALES"....they see $$ profits! But you know what?? Those of us who KNOW what the TRUE meaning of Christmas is can and WILL keep it alive...in spite of their over-the-top commercialization!! So THERE!! That's my story....and I'm stickin' to it!!!!
Nana & PaPa

Michelle and Sean said...

Happy to see the update and the cute pictures!! But I totally understand needing a break and just not feeling in the mood!! No worries we will wait for your updates when you are ready!!

Thinking of you!

Dana said...

Hey 11 comments and you haven't even been reading other blogs lately. Those are dedicated readers. I get it though. I too have not been reading and posting like I should. I need to write a whiny post today.

She is so cute in her PJ's. I'm glad she oves school.

Hang in there my friend.

For me I just want to enjoy the holiday and not HAVE to be THIS organized. People keep adding things to my scedual. I could get it all done IF people would stop adding expectations.

Try to just tune out the commericalization and tune into the REASON FOR THE SEASON!

Merry Christmas!

Holly said...

Too cute! Very cool Elmo PJs! :)

lortsa said...

I would like to wish Marissa and her family a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!