Honestly, I feel a little silly saying that because Marissa only had five appointments in January, not including her speech therapy. To me, and I'm sure to many of you, that is kind of a low number. I think back to Marissa's first year and a half and remember that I took her to at least two doctor appointments a week, a majority of the time. Then, we had a record month in November '08 when we did not have one single doctor appointment. That was followed by a year where doctor appointments were the exception, not the rule. Marissa got comfortable knowing I was not going to be taking her to get poked and prodded all the time. October and April always seem to be pretty busy (every six month check ups) but she always tolerated it OK.
Then last month happened. Marissa has gotten to the point where she has convinced herself that every time the car stops, we are going into a doctor's office. With last week's g-tube appointment, she started crying, coughing, gagging, and puking as soon as I opened the van door to get her out. This was part of the reason that Mama Bear came out in full force and was not going to leave that appointment without her g-tube getting changed out. Marissa had been crying non-stop for a half hour before the nurse came in and told us the supplies had not come. I was not going to put her through all that for nothing, only to repeat the whole traumatizing scenario the next week. I put my foot down.
Just this last Saturday, Jeremy and I decided to go shopping for a new bed (yay tax refunds!). I pulled into the parking lot, put the van in park and Marissa started crying and puking. UGH!
I pray that the time never comes that she starts crying every time I put her in the car but the pattern is leading that way. Marissa's anxiety has progressively gotten worse. It started with her crying as soon as the doctor came in the exam room. It moved on to her crying as soon as we got into the exam room. Then she would start crying as soon as we settled into the waiting room. Then, as soon as I started checking us in. Now it is when I park the van. I just wish I knew what to do to ease her extreme anxiety and fear.
Of course, we have another appointment today. This one is the nutritionist to see what we need to do to pack a few pounds on Marissa in preparation for her possible surgery. She has been holding steady at about 28 pounds for several months and Dr. P said she would be a better candidate for the surgery if she was a little bigger. I am hoping, after today, our doctor appointments will ease up. The next one I have scheduled is March 1 to see Dr. P. I hope and pray we can have three doctor free weeks.
Marissa deserves a break.