That is what time Marissa decided to wake up this morning. That is what time Jeremy jumped out of bed in an attempt to put her back down.
That is what time I took over for Jeremy in my attempt to put her back to sleep. Still awake. An hour after she first woke up.
That is what time I finally blew my fuse and yelled at my daughter for not sleeping. Not proud of myself at all. Ashamed. Bad mother.
I do not do well without sleep. I lose my temper very quickly. I hate this. I feel like a monster.
Marissa does this often enough to make things very tense around here sometimes, but not often enough that we think it is a medical problem. I have very close friends who are probably packing up to go home from a sleep study with their daughter as I type this. A non-sleeping sleep study. Because their daughter does not sleep very much at all. Ever.
I try to keep things in perspective. I try to remember my friends who have not had a halfway decent night's sleep in so long, it would make your head spin. For some reason, it does not help the way I would like. I still lose my temper. I still feel sorry for Jeremy, Marissa and myself for not getting enough sleep. I still feel like a monster.
Sorry for this grumbling whining post. I know there are many more people with much bigger problems. Speaking of which, please pray for MckMama's son Stellan.
Things will get better today. I will try to keep the monster at bay. Marissa will nap and so will I. My ever-patient husband will probably fall asleep at his computer, almost hitting his head on the keyboard, and laugh to himself. And, if his buddies see him do this, they'll all have a good laugh out loud. We will get a better night's sleep. This will all happen again, but things will be OK. Things have to be OK. We have bigger battles to fight.